You Never Lose by Loving
A new commandment I give to you, that you also love one another; even as I have loved you, that you also love one another (John 13:34).
Love!
What a beautiful thing it truly is. To love and to be loved. It seems to be a natural good desired by everyone: sharing a simple smile, experiences, and growing old together. Yet, such pure love is difficult to attain today. New technology and standards of what it means to love romantically have changed the perception of it all. Love has always been a risky endeavor that only a few attain. Many hesitate to try out of fear of failure. So is loving worth it?
YES! It is most definitely worth it!
Firstly, we need to distinguish what it means to love. For the sake of simplicity, let us say love is willing the good of the other for their own sake. In this, we can relate general love not only to another person, but also to God. He is the source and fulfillment of perfect love. When we love well, our intentions are not selfish but ordered to God and the well-being of the other.
Practice by asking yourself,
"Why am I doing this?"
"Why am I asking this person out?"
"Why am I doing X and Y?"
The answer ought to point you to a few things. Primarily to do what is good, not for your own sake, to bring you closer to God, and to grow in virtue. From the outset, some actions might not appear to be ordered towards these ends, but one's own intentions ought to lead to a higher good.
In romantic love, where one is pursuing to court, date, or marry, the end is quite simple. To be saints together. Can we help each other cultivate virtue and attain God? Can we suffer well together? Can we have God be at the center of all our actions? The beauty of a relationship is not the feelings, but to attain to God together. In all the joys and sufferings, your goal is to be saints and live for Christ. You must also be selfless and care more about the other person than yourself. You must die to yourself for their sake. In everything, never lose focus of who you really is at the center. JESUS!
You might not be dating, but surely you have friends or people you see regularly. Even if you do not, there is a love inside you that must be poured out. This love is the love of neighbor. You do not have to be in a relationship to live a life of love. When we are called to love as Christ has loved us, that is to everyone! Those who are suffering, the people in our lives, the people we interact with daily, even if it is for a short time. That is true love. To freely pour out the grace we receive from God and share it with others. When one comes to understand the true love of God, one must share it with all, not for anything one will receive in return, but for its own sake. Love everyone for its own sake. A rightly ordered love that brings people to see the grace of God within you. For everything good is of God.
What happens when you love but are not loved back? It does hurt, doesn't it? Do not neglect the emotions, but instead ask God for the strength to bear it for as long as he wills it. It will not be easy, but it will allow you to grow in virtue and trust in Him. Remember, your joy should rest entirely on God. That is much easier said than done, and often can only be truly understood once you have gone through it. In all honesty, accept life for what it is. Your love is never wasted. You only gain in loving. A sweet joy it is to pour out love to the world. In all the sorrow, there is joy. Your only true joy ought to be in God. Thy will be done. And what a beautiful experience it is to love and to be loved. Not by another person, but by God himself. Who in his loving mercy came down from Heaven so that we may know and love Him. What better love can we receive than the love of God?
Keep on loving, freely. Love as Christ has loved us all. Continue loving others without reserve because you can never lose by loving.
